girls are crazy, boys are strange, but in the end we're all deranged.

little lion man.

oh mumford & sons, how i love you so. 

...

my room smells like stale watermelon.

blue n moody.

YEEEEEESSSSS!

despite the title of this note, i am neither blue, nor moody. i am soooo flibbing happy!

you see, tonight was jazzfest. and me, playing trumpet, had to solo in front of the whole theatre. to some people this may not be a big deal, but to me it's scary as hell. and since my practice solos at school have been sucking lately, i was freaking out about having to showcase my shitty talent in front of the biggest crowd i've had to yet. so i got up there, shaking like crazy, and actually did one of the best solos that i have ever played. i stayed on the right scale! i was also sweating like a pig though...

so that was good :)

something that really irritates me though- my friends are really committed to playing basketball and synchro swimming, but they're also in the band, and this conflicts with our concerts and such. all three of them are in the trumpet section with me, so that leaves only me and one other girl. and i love my trumpet section, they are all amazing, nice girls.. some of the nicest i've ever met, but it's really frustrating when the rest of the band is really excited to go to a gig, but w're held back because the teacher doesn't want us playing with only two trumpets, since trumpets are on the top of the pyramid, and basically one of the essential instruments in a jazz big band. so basically, what i'm getting at, is why even take band as a course if you're not going to support us? and i understand that they have to support our school basketball team too, but, we all work so hard to be as good as we possibly can be, and then there are the people who also work hard, but just for an easy a, and not because they really do love the music.

oi vey, i just don't know what to do.

ON ANOTHER NOTE: 

i have had mcdonalds twice today, as well as mexican cuisine. 

yay for obesity!

rihanna is dumb.

that is all.

and i don't know how i got here, but i'm mighty glad i came.

FINALLY!


the countdown is on.
Idaho: 16 days!
Mexico: 33 days!


ahh, i can't wait to just leave! it's been too long, and i really just need to get away. not that i don't love it here, because i do. i truly believe i live in one of the most beautiful places on earth, BUT, sometimes it gets boring, and i really do want to go to other beautiful places.
...not that Idaho is that beautiful. especially the part of Moscow that we're going. but hey, we get to listen to beautiful jazz music almost 24/7, and that's fine by me! 
Idaho was soo great last year thats i am pretty friggin stoked to go back. it's really cool to just have to depend on yourself for a few days and nights. no one is looking after you, and you have to be completely dependent. it's a nice feeling. and living in a room with three of your best friends is so fun, even if we do get on each other's nerves sometimes. and going to the Lionel Hampton Jazz Festival makes me appreciate jazz music so much more. the whole vibe at the festival is.. there are seriously no words to explain it. something along the lines of completely and utterly extravagantly incredibly fantastically amazing TO THE MAX. you can't help but be moved. also, it's so great that i have the chance to go to such a massive event, and see some of the best jazz artists of these years. i'm so lucky.


AND MEXICO! HOLY GRANDE QUESADILLA! i have never been to mexico, and thanks to one of my freaks mojo, i get to go!! we're going to cancun, and it's way too exciting, like, brain overload. except mo and i act like sisters sometimes, and that could get bad quick. but we shall work it out. quiet time. :)
i'm gonna burn though. i'm so pasty that i look like casper the friendly ghost. it's terrible. oh well, my burns turn into tans eventually... and skin cancer. so, for this trip, i don't really know what to expect but beaches and sun. hopefully. and hot mexican muchachos ;)


by the way, i don't give a rat's ass about the superbowl. 


so that's about all i'm thinking about lately. all that's really going on, or worth talking about.


oh, and i won my soccer game today! go red!

♫♪♥

lovely lovely love love.

DO THA CREEP.

i'm baaaaaack.


whoa, haven't blogged in forever. not like anyone's reading this anyway. except for you-know-who, because you're a flippin' trale lewous. SO, to get back on track... if you were to read my very first post, you could tell that i was in a very pressing situation. either that or i'm a major drama queen.
pretty sure its both factors.
anywhooo, i can gladly say that all that is over and done with, and life goes on. although the person (lets call him trevor) and i still talk, i set him straight. trevor had too much power over my life, and i was becoming no one. i began to realize i wasn't me anymore, i was a blob of negative emotions, and waaaay too much eyeliner. it's funny because the whole time that i was enslaved by trevors mind games, all my friends and family told me that you were the cause of my pain, but to me he just looked like an angel. he made me feel loved, and wanted. and don't get me wrong, i always knew my family wanted and loved me, i wasn't that silly, but in a different way. he made me feel pretty, he said he loved me, straight up. he said sweet things that boosted my confidence, but inside i knew it was all wrong. something wasn't right. i was rotting from the inside out, and i couldn't take it anymore. 
i do take complete responsibility in saying that what i said to trevor was harsh, but it was needed. he said we should be 100% honest, so i went full out. biznatch. 
good things that came out of this: I AM NOW MORE OUTGOING. i've made new friends. ones that i cherish immensely, and i have reconnected with old ones, that i love oh so dearly.


what else is new.. hm.
OUH, n3ww smstrz. St0k3d. 
HA just kidding, i don't talk like that. but, that awkward sentence above is to be translated into: oh, new semester. how exciting!
fortunately, i have english with ratlady (unfortunate), planning, band/p.e., and art. so far, i'm in love with art. it relaxes me so much. i love just listening to my music and letting my ideas flow off the pencil. definitely better than last semester, having  do a shitload of homework every night. doesn't give me time to be a teenager, you know?


MUSIC.
i may as well get this out of the way now. music is the basis of my existence. without it, i would be no one. it makes me happy, it makes me sad. to sum it up, it just makes me feel.
every simple or complex melody wakes up every nerve in my body, letting me know i'm alive. that i'm someone, and i'm not alone in the feelings that i'm feeling. it makes me feel safe, and i am endlessly thankful for that.
i listen to almost everything. rock, metal, alternative, acoustic, country, comedy, indie, hip hop, r&b, pop, electronic, dubstep, jazz, blues, dance, folk, punk, rap, reggae, techno, you name it. itry very hard to stray away from mainstream though. i like being able to show someone an unknown band, and seeing how they could love it almost as much as i do. also, my sister has bieber fever, (puke) and that is one sickness i will never, ever catch. 
if someone were to bash my taste in music, yeah, i would take it hard. not that i care what people think necessarily, it's just that it makes me sad that people don't see what i see, or feel what i feel, and that they have no right to put down the thing that makes me happiest in life.
music is my oxygen. 
plain and simple.


so yeah. 


i'll keep it updated and upbeat as best as i can.

"Do the creep. Haaaahhh."