Friday, February 4, 2011


i'm baaaaaack.

whoa, haven't blogged in forever. not like anyone's reading this anyway. except for you-know-who, because you're a flippin' trale lewous. SO, to get back on track... if you were to read my very first post, you could tell that i was in a very pressing situation. either that or i'm a major drama queen.
pretty sure its both factors.
anywhooo, i can gladly say that all that is over and done with, and life goes on. although the person (lets call him trevor) and i still talk, i set him straight. trevor had too much power over my life, and i was becoming no one. i began to realize i wasn't me anymore, i was a blob of negative emotions, and waaaay too much eyeliner. it's funny because the whole time that i was enslaved by trevors mind games, all my friends and family told me that you were the cause of my pain, but to me he just looked like an angel. he made me feel loved, and wanted. and don't get me wrong, i always knew my family wanted and loved me, i wasn't that silly, but in a different way. he made me feel pretty, he said he loved me, straight up. he said sweet things that boosted my confidence, but inside i knew it was all wrong. something wasn't right. i was rotting from the inside out, and i couldn't take it anymore. 
i do take complete responsibility in saying that what i said to trevor was harsh, but it was needed. he said we should be 100% honest, so i went full out. biznatch. 
good things that came out of this: I AM NOW MORE OUTGOING. i've made new friends. ones that i cherish immensely, and i have reconnected with old ones, that i love oh so dearly.

what else is new.. hm.
OUH, n3ww smstrz. St0k3d. 
HA just kidding, i don't talk like that. but, that awkward sentence above is to be translated into: oh, new semester. how exciting!
fortunately, i have english with ratlady (unfortunate), planning, band/p.e., and art. so far, i'm in love with art. it relaxes me so much. i love just listening to my music and letting my ideas flow off the pencil. definitely better than last semester, having  do a shitload of homework every night. doesn't give me time to be a teenager, you know?

i may as well get this out of the way now. music is the basis of my existence. without it, i would be no one. it makes me happy, it makes me sad. to sum it up, it just makes me feel.
every simple or complex melody wakes up every nerve in my body, letting me know i'm alive. that i'm someone, and i'm not alone in the feelings that i'm feeling. it makes me feel safe, and i am endlessly thankful for that.
i listen to almost everything. rock, metal, alternative, acoustic, country, comedy, indie, hip hop, r&b, pop, electronic, dubstep, jazz, blues, dance, folk, punk, rap, reggae, techno, you name it. itry very hard to stray away from mainstream though. i like being able to show someone an unknown band, and seeing how they could love it almost as much as i do. also, my sister has bieber fever, (puke) and that is one sickness i will never, ever catch. 
if someone were to bash my taste in music, yeah, i would take it hard. not that i care what people think necessarily, it's just that it makes me sad that people don't see what i see, or feel what i feel, and that they have no right to put down the thing that makes me happiest in life.
music is my oxygen. 
plain and simple.

so yeah. 

i'll keep it updated and upbeat as best as i can.

"Do the creep. Haaaahhh."